Expecting the unexpected..

A friend once told me: "What might seem as nothing to you, looks like much more to everyone watching you."

When one develops a strange feeling towards a close friend, it is best not to deny it, because the more you deny it the deeper you fall. Yes, you are friends, best buddies, chomma's; which makes it more awkward having more-than-friendship feelings for him. It feels like you know him your entire life. You are able to speak the most silliest things in the universe and not feel judged or pathetic. You are constantly on your phone smsing each other, you enjoy each others' company and you have special names for each other, now obviously something is bound to develop.

The worst feeling in the world is having those feelings for him and not knowing whether he feels the same. You are definitely not going to ask!? Afraid of rejection and being pushed away by the awkwardness of the situation.

So what do you do in the end? You live with what you feel. Shy to break the news to even your best girlfriend. You stay happy with what you already have. You certainly do not want to lose the already awesome friendship you have began. So you will wait for your chance to come. If it is meant to be, it will certainly happen.

world come crashing down

What do you do when your world suddenly comes crashing down? But you are well aware that no-one but yourself caused it?

It's the little things people say like "wow it's almost a year" that makes your mind dwell on things you shouldn't even be thinking about. You start thinking about "what if's" and "maybe's". And all of a sudden you have made a decision that your heart feels is wrong but your mind feels is right. So you stuck in the night having to listen how you heart and mind goes back and fourth, rambling on things they think are best for you. And the sad thing is you, yourself, has no clue whats best for you.

You wake up the next morning feeling numb and blue with no zest for life itself. But you force yourself up because life goes on anyway whether you like it or not. As you start going about your usual routine, it is those irrelevant things like the song on the radio, a cute saying on the car driving next you and the lovely couple sitting in the bus infront of you that makes you realise how much you are going to miss a crucial part of the life you had before today.

Now you are left with only the hope of maybe someday you meet up again and reconnect.

Lastnight I found myself wondering about the most craziest things. One topic stood out the most. Cheating.

We live in this world today, where people are intrigued by the wrongness of things. They feel that only their own satisfaction matters. They go about hurting people that are important to them, disobeying their beliefs all for a little something they call "living life".

Life does not have to be lived that way. This may sound very cliche but there really are better things in life. We might think that it will never happen to us but all around you it's happening. You witness friends and family cheating and it scares you. Just to think that it may have been your loved one cheating on you.

If only life had no wrong doings. This world would be a beter place.

friends on mind

I just got off the phone with one of bestest budz! Amina. I never heard from her in a while and felt the need to call her and see how she's doing. Everything turned out to be well and we got to speaking about alot of things. It just made me realise how much i miss my friends and how important they are to me. We shouldn't neglect our friends and i vow not to anymore no matter how zany my life may be at the moment. I will defintely be making a turn by her in the week :) and hopefully all my other high school budz!

emptiness..

As I sit and think of my life, I cannot help but feel a certain empitiness. I cannot entirely explain the feeling. Eventhough I have great friends and family, and I'm following a successful career path, I still tend to feel this hole inside of me.


There are so many things I have been exposed to but I cannot have it for myself. I realize that these are the things I want most in life...but...it feels so soon. Am I too young? Ofcause! but then why do i want it so bad? It's not exactly a want, it's more like a need, so to speak. As if to fill the hole.


Let me approach it in another manner. Maybe I feel this way because I am being denied it. So it's like a rebelious thing to want what you can't have. It's not something I should take lightly, it's a great responsibilty, yet I feel that I can cope, since I have been coping with "it" since I was about about 11 years old. I can handle the situation better than most people much older than me.


I bet if I wasn't denied many important milestones in my life then I wouldn't feel this emptiness. They thought they were protecting me from things they did not want me to experience because "they" reckoned I was too immature. Now I am stuck on this road that I feel has been set long ago for me, with no side roads, no stop signs and only green traffic lights. Is that stops sign ever going to come? Where I could just heel-down for a few seconds before I continue again...

Soppy story ...or not:)

hey hey...

Initially I came to my computer to write a soppy story about how my day was filled with obstacles that made be totally miserable. About how I could have seen the love of my life but so many things stood in the way. A pit stop to this blog made me think otherwise.

I first visited facebook, where I am currently helping out a friend in need. Obviously it was about boys and I realized that I was giving great advice that I was ignoring to use in my own situation. I told her "don't give up that easily" and that's when it struck me... I shouldn't let this minor incident get me down, instead I should try harder next time and never stop till I truly get what I want.

I truly adore this guy and we make each other happy and from now onward every person or obstacle that gets in the way of making me find true happiness with him will only push me more, push me to never give up hope and fight for what I truly want...my love.

Love,
Sweetcheeks

Hola!

Good mood? So so...It's amazing how something small and usually goes unnoticed makes your day wonderfull and how things could go the opposite direction with a sudden movement.

I almost got to see the love of my life today. Yeah.. a pity hey...it's an "almost". Today started out with a phone call and an ear-to-ear smile. I was so full of hope and immediately knew my day was going to be awesome.

Then!! with one different thought as mine all my plans and hopes for the day were shattered! I had to folllow the lead of my parents. Bye bye happiness, once again.

I must say that I did enjoy the family day I had. But then again, all the times I do go out are with my family! I just wanted something different you know, like just different (without siblings).

It makes me think am I ever going to have my freedom? Freedom to do what I feel like at this age. I'm always going to have someone by my side, watching my every move. It's so unfair* At least im free at campus to do what I want ;) lol. But then again those are only my friends, special yes!... but not the special I want.

I have learnt over the years to never give up!

Its time for me to say..
Buenas Noches