emptiness..

As I sit and think of my life, I cannot help but feel a certain empitiness. I cannot entirely explain the feeling. Eventhough I have great friends and family, and I'm following a successful career path, I still tend to feel this hole inside of me.


There are so many things I have been exposed to but I cannot have it for myself. I realize that these are the things I want most in life...but...it feels so soon. Am I too young? Ofcause! but then why do i want it so bad? It's not exactly a want, it's more like a need, so to speak. As if to fill the hole.


Let me approach it in another manner. Maybe I feel this way because I am being denied it. So it's like a rebelious thing to want what you can't have. It's not something I should take lightly, it's a great responsibilty, yet I feel that I can cope, since I have been coping with "it" since I was about about 11 years old. I can handle the situation better than most people much older than me.


I bet if I wasn't denied many important milestones in my life then I wouldn't feel this emptiness. They thought they were protecting me from things they did not want me to experience because "they" reckoned I was too immature. Now I am stuck on this road that I feel has been set long ago for me, with no side roads, no stop signs and only green traffic lights. Is that stops sign ever going to come? Where I could just heel-down for a few seconds before I continue again...