I recently had a few encounters with an old friend. Lets just say that long ago, I had THE biggest crush on him. That even my best friend tells me that she cant believe that my feelings for him could fade. Now, a few weeks ago, I knew deep down that this was a dangerous thing, I knew that I would easily fall for his charms again, and I did! At the beginning I told myself that I cannot fall for him, whatsoever! Yet, now I cant stop thinking about him. The smallest thing reminds me of him, and I don't want this, or that's what I'm forcing myself to believe.
The thing is that I know that if I continue with this, I will just be more hurt in the end. More damage to my already damaged heart. By now you'd think that my heart will be able to handle situations like these, after being rejected by my true love, but it can't. All it does is just make me despondent towards opening up to the next guy that comes along. And its bad, because now I am left scared and I push guys away.
I am so confused. I don't know what to do?? If only there was a manual for situations like these! It would make life so much easier. My mind is saying don't and my heart is saying go. And I'm stuck between the two arguing with very valid points :(
love sucks!
xx
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