Loss of Passion

Recently my Bestfriend and I were speaking about my Dubai situation, one of our almost a dozen topics of conversation in one afternoon. And for me the one thing that really stood out the most, after she left, was that I actually admitted to her that I lost my passion until the Dubai thing.

In one of my previous posts you would have noticed that I have had a huge knock in my life. I stopped studying for just over six months for academic purposes which is basically that I failed big time. This made me lose so much confidence in terms of my future and where I was headed towards next. I was free to do anything yet I decided to stay home, where all I did was sleep, eat, and watch television. I could have gone to work but I didn't. I had so many work opportunities yet I just passed on most of it or my brain would automatically just block it out. 

I was so stressed yet mellow about everything at the same time that the two emotions clashed and in the end nothing seemed as important to me as it would before. And when I opened my eyes, six precious months has passed and I had nothing to show for it, besides the fact that I applied at UNISA to continue my studies at a pace that I am comfortable with.

Then my Dubai ideas came along :) ... now day in and day out all I think about is Dubai. How my life would be there. All the things I would do. The different culture environments I would experience. The things I would  be able to learn over there. About what an awesome opportunity it would be. 

I haven't been this excited about anything in a very very very long time. I haven't been this sure about anything before. I haven't been this crazy to want to move away from family and friends so obviously I am serious about it. 

I feel like the passion I lost, is slowly being found again. 

How about Dubai??!

So this crazy idea popped up in my head one afternoon reading, a book titled Postcards by Rayda Jacobs, : I want to go to DUBAI!

Cray Cray because I will be leaving my friends, family and life behind to start a new temporary life on an entirely different continent.When I told some family members about it, they looked at me as if I was going mad. The most popular responses were : "You? Dubai?", "You're gonna come running home in less than two weeks!", "Your father will never let you go", "How will you be able to cope over there?" and best of all "What about your studies??".

One thing for sure is that I do not make hasty decisions. I lie in bed for a couple of nights thinking things through. I browse the internet for any information that can help in my decision making and I scout for certain responses by certain people in my life before I decide that it's time to let people know what is really going on in this head of mine.

I just feel that I need a getaway for a while. So if I make it a working/studying/travelling experience then I will be having my bread buttered on both sides :) I always wanted to travel and it feels like if I don't get a start at it, then it will never happen. I am almost 21 years of age and I can clean and cook, I am responsible to look after myself. And it's not as if I will be gone for the rest of my life, I just need like a year and I will be back.

I feel like here is not much for me back home, I feel like going away will change my life, change how I see things in life, make me more confident and independent. Because here I am constantly under the wings of my parents and the four walls surrounding me that I feel like a cannot grow as a person.

I guess most of all is that I want the chance to show everybody that think I am still ten years of age, that think that I am still young, vulnerable and soft that I can be independent, I can be strong, I can be away from them only missing them a little, I can make positive changes in my life and that anything is possible if you just believe.